"Come on in and have a seat on my couch. That is the last time I'll sound like a therapist." This is, literally, how I start every initial session, and it's so true!
Clients tell me how different I am from other therapists. There are therapists in today's world who simply sit and listen to you. I am not one of those therapists. I will engage. I will call you out. I will help you shift your mindset if necessary.
My perspective is based on research, my trainings (ie: Relational Life Therapy Certification and other Continuing Education Courses), and my own life experiences (I'm not gonna lie, I will share about myself as relevant to your situation).
Individual work is still “Relationship Work.”
It’s funny, if you look at my Couples Page, I literally say the opposite. “Relationship Life Therapy is really individual work.” I sound like I’m losing my mind. Trust me, I’m not. And bear with me, because I’m right.
Why? Because you are in relationship with yourself.
You are likely (sometimes, at least) your worst critic. We are so hard on ourselves. Inner Relationship Work is how to practice self-compassion. It is learning how to recognize your mistakes and not berate yourself for them, nor excuse yourself for them.
Self-Compassion. Gentleness. Forgiveness.
Here’s how it works:
Whether you’re coming to this work alone, with others in a relationship, or in relation to your work, it always plays out in three stages.
Work on Your Own Stuff. We'll figure out what's going on for you. What is coming up from your historical past (your childhood). How you handle your emotions. Why you get caught in unproductive and unhealthy thought loops and how to stop the cycle.
See What Happens. As you get healthier, it'll shift all of your relationships. We explore what that shift will look like.
Deal With It. Some of those shifts will be uncomfortable, yet you will be better equipped to deal with whatever comes your way and step out of the unhealthy patterns.